It's not you, it's me

So, I have asserted myself in following up with people aka networking. And trust me when I say that I am not good at it therefore I must commend myself for doing this. But don't you ever feel like walking into a dead end and then turning back to where you started to begin a new path just to find it a dead end as well?

I have made contact and followed up with at least five people. And as time progressed, that number decreased and I'm down with one. A hopeful nonetheless yet still a path uncertain. I end up asking myself this:

Must I woo you in order for this to flourish? Shower your ears with longing love notes and desires to adore you and only you? Give you presents so your attraction to me would heighten and therefore live happily ever after?...?

If job hunting is dating, I would be sulking on the couch, eating a pint of ben & Jerry's and watching a marathon of Dawson's Creek due to the fact that rejection has been my shadow. But then again, I never really cared for Dawson and Joey. Ben & Jerry's more likely.

I would constantly think that Job Hunting has found a more likely candidate than I and I would be getting the phrase "It's not me, it's you"- quite the opposite of what the intended subtle phrase suppose to be. Then, my confidence would drop, resulting to me stranded on the couch, crying my eyes out and hoping he was happy whoever he chose.

That's the rejection part of dating.

The waiting part, however, is the process equally unbearable.

You meet someone. Flirt. Attraction is prominent. Similarities rise up. Then, exchange contacts. Said goodbyes then wait for the call. Days gone by, weeks, months, until you realized you'll never get that call. And so, you move along.

Sending resumes to positions you're guaranteed to be considered and then waiting for a callback is all too familiar. In the end, I just have to move along. But, let's say, a first interview is given. Once, I had a phone interview with the Communications department for Harpo, Inc. and of course, my hopes went up. The position was for an internship and although I have finished school, I won't be considered unless I was eligible. The requirement was for seniors and juniors...thus, my big mouth took over mentioning I was done in school. The second interview never came...that sounded like a good horror/suspense/mystery movie: THE SECOND INTERVIEW NEVER CAME...cue in creepy music.

In comparison with dating, this would fall in the first date category. All went well, you thought, and as he walked you to your door step, the thought of kissing him dance around your mind. It never did happen. No, not on the first date. Thus the beginning of the waiting game.

So, I wait. I have applied and the wait is not over.

Until, a long term relationship comes along. And no commitment-phobics in toll.

*picture by:http://fleisherartmemorial.blogspot.com/