Regressing heart

You know when your heart is empty when it beats and there's an echo. Not just an ordinary echo, but at echo wallowing in the depths of being numb. My impulse to leave so suddenly from the park was something that I had to do. But yet, I saw from my niece's eyes that she was a tad bit disappointed regardless if she was playing with her friends. My emotions just took over, I cannot stop the tears from rolling. The fact that I cannot even rely on my friends to hang out, to experience an outdoor movie with me. I understand each had plans, but I think I gave them enough time to at least let me know that they could make it. But then I ask myself, is it really right to be so upset with them because of their actions? Or my sadness and loneliness created these outburst of emotions, which until now, I cannot hold in?

I miss him dearly.

The thoughts just echoed from my empty heart shell. The idea of not being with him scares me and me realize that I cannot stand not being with him. And yet I have to practice living independently, because, let's be honest, nothing last forever.

Then again, my loneliness is a sheer explanation that my love for him is so much greater. And here I thought I could survive a week without him. Now I know what he must have felt when I left for Prague. And that was 5 weeks!

Why is it harder for the person left behind than the person who moved on? Is it because there are no changes to the person left behind, except for the temporary absence of loved one, making it so difficult to achieve, to move on with the daily living?